10 January 2010

Dear Jesus: Have you seen my baseball?

I'm sorry, but people like this

At a news conference following the prayer breakfast, [St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Adam] Wainwright said he prays before games that God will strengthen him "and let the other team look at me in fear."

are no different from ignorant people who believe that God sent Hurricane Katrina to punish gays. It may sound benign, but it's not. It's insipid, and it's illogical.

Fucking Comment Card Jesus or something. And what if the opposing team is ALSO talking to gods. Is there a spiritual battle in the heavens? Does The Lord have to play eeny-meeny-miney-mo (Arminian theology), or did he already plan which way that baseball was going to go, BEFORE THE VERY DAWN OF TIME (the even more retarded Calvinist theology)?

You would think that, in the West, at least, we'd have rid ourselves of the desire to sound like illiterate shepherds from 3000 years ago, but apparently not!


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