04 December 2009

Mean President Obama Will Not Let Arlington, TN Mayor Watch Snoopy Jesus Special

Omighaa, socialism you guyz!


A new act has been performed in the world's longest running wingnut opera, The Rage-Gasm of the Douche. The scene opens with Arlington, Tennessee mayor Russell Wiseman, just cold sittin' around in his underpants, ready to watch some Crimmus Snoopy. But the Moozlem Nazi Socialist president had more sinister plans:

In the opinion of Arlington Mayor Russell Wiseman, President Barack Obama's speech on Tuesday night on the war in Afghanistan was deliberately timed to block the Christian message of the "Peanuts" television Christmas special.

Wiseman made the statements on his Facebook page, where he declared Obama to be a Muslim. (...)

"Ok, so, this is total crap, we sit the kids down to watch 'The Charlie Brown Christmas Special' and our muslim president is there, what a load.....try to convince me that wasn't done on purpose. Ask the man if he believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and he will give you a 10 minute disertation (sic) about it....w...hen the answer should simply be 'yes'...."

Oh boy, these people. This is the mayor of a Memphis suburb, taking to his Facebook page to have a very public night terror about the muslin preznit deliberately scheduling his war speech during Snoopy and Linus and the Jesus message of it all, and...IT'S A CONSPIRACY, YOU GUYZ, DON'T YOU SEE? DON'T YOU SEE?!?!?!

Wiseman decided to continue typing embarrassing things with his fingers in the comments on his thread:

At another point he said, "you know, our forefathers had it written in the original Constitution that ONLY property owners could vote, if that has stayed in there, things would be different........"

Okay first of all, a nitpicky point. The number of periods in an ellipsis is not debatable, and it's not open to interpretation. There are three. Not four. Not fifteen. Not "hold your ring finger down on the period button while you think." Three.

God! Okay, but the subtle, grunting nostalgia for slavery and white supremacy is cute, isn't it? I've often said that normal people would be stunned to hear how White Republicans (especially in the South) talk behind closed doors, when they think no one who isn't like them is listening. In public discourse, they communicate through dogwhistles, but man oh man, give them some privacy and the white hoods come out so fast.

Now, whether or not one agrees with Obama's escalation of the war (I do not), one would think that an adult could grasp the concept that sometimes, events in the real world take precedence over Christmas specials, WWE Wrestling, Everybody Loves Raymond, and whatever the hell else this guy watches. If you don't want to watch the President's speech, you don't have to. But in the real world, decisions of war, which send our troops into harm's way, are important.

So, Mayor Wiseman, we, the normal people, are collectively sorry that you had to miss Linus talking about his personal faith in Jesus Christ. It will be on next year. Or, as Jason Linkins points out, you could always just buy the damn DVD!

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