30 June 2009

Best argument against gay marriage EVER: "Sex with dudes is just too hot, you guys!"

Um, this is real.  The anti-gay equality movement has exhausted every retarded argument they've ever made, and now, in this really Freudian way, they're going all in, declaring that the real reason we should oppose gay marriage is, of course, "Think of the women, because sex with dudes is so hot that if gayness was completely equal, then no dudes would want women, because omg drool guys are so hot!!!!111!"  


Think I'm kidding?  Here you go:

Consider this piece from the first century BCE poet Catullus (Carmen 61:134-141), in which the poet addresses himself to a bridegroom on the eve of his nuptials:

“You are said to find it hard, Perfumed bridegroom, to give up Smooth-skinned boys, but give them up… We realize you’ve only known Permitted pleasures: husbands, though, Have no right to the same pleasures.”

The social history behind this piece is clear: once they’ve experienced sex with other men, Catullus tells us, men are unsatisfied with what their new wives provide them. Notice that the poet is unconcerned about the husband’s dallying with other women—it’s the othermen around that threaten the marital union.


I just don't know what to say about that.

Or as Amanda Marcotte, in her tongue-in-cheek way, responded:

So if gay marriage is legalized, all the men will want to fuck each other, and women will have no one decent to marry.  Women can’t marry each other, of course, because a) Klinghoffer keeps forgetting about lesbians when he’s dwelling on the delicious images of an ancient Roman cornucopia of manflesh and b) just like men, women can’t lower themselves to touching women once they’ve sampled the dudely goods.

Let’s face it.  No one wants vagina when penis is available, end of story.  You, like Klinghoffer, know that if you ever succumb even once to the urge to reach out and touch a cock, you will forever be ruined, never able again to muster enough pleasure out of a union with a lady to get through it.


Hehe.  This is really funny.  The myriad psychoses of the straight male patriarchal mind are just coming out to play now.  I really love that the wingnut writer claims that the "majority of women" will no longer be able to find men to marry, because apparently, most straight men live  in a state of constant secret craving of the HWC that Liz Phair sang about.  

A gay man's fantasy, perhaps, but I doubt it.  

But this is a little window into the VAST AMOUNTS OF CLOSET SPACE currently being used by members of the Religious Right in this country.  

Hilarious.

(h/t also:  Dan Savage)

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